I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
