I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize