Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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