Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
