I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
