Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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