first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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