If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
