He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
