last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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