My nipple is on Facebook.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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