Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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