I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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