I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
