He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
