Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
