? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
