After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize