I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
