I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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