Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
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You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
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I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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