I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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