Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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