My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
