I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
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I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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