that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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