apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
