I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
