i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
