I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize