Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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