Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
