I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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