i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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