i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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