I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize