it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
foreskin is a definite game changer
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
