billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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