So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
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Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
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I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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