How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
