Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
