suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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