i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
