No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
