you would pick up someone in the library
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
