It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Come on in and take your pants off
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
