I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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