..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
