I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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