Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
