What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
