No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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