I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
