She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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