I think im going to throw up on grandma
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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