Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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