Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
