just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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